
Welcome to ”The Self-Hype Podcast,” hosted by Eli Vazquez – your ultimate destination for unfiltered discussions on dating, love, personal development, and relationships. Get ready for Eli’s No-BS advice, raw talk on love, and empowering insights from expert guests in the dating and personal development sphere. Join us as Eli cuts through the noise, providing practical tips, relatable stories, and transformative wisdom to navigate the modern landscape of love and self-improvement.
Episodes

May 15, 2026
May 15, 2026
18 min
If you are terrified of losing yourself in another relationship or repeating the same toxic patterns, this episode is your official game plan. Eli answers one of the most common questions he gets: How do I actually "do the work" when I don't currently have a partner triggering me? He breaks down why you can't truly simulate a romantic relationship while single, but how you can still prep your nervous system for a secure one. Sharing his own current journey of facing fears (like finally signing a 12-month apartment lease after years of being a digital nomad), Eli explains how to identify the deep-rooted fears running your life. You’ll learn how to trace your people-pleasing and overachieving back to your childhood, how to reframe your survival traits as gifts, and exactly how to practice setting boundaries in your daily life before you ever go on another first date.
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May 8, 2026
May 8, 2026
21 min
In this highly requested solo episode, Eli takes a hilarious, unfiltered look at the classic Disney princess movies that secretly ruined our dating expectations. He breaks down why we’re all addicted to a delusional, “fairytale” view of love—and how media propaganda has conditioned us to chase a non-existent spark. From dragging Snow White for moving in with seven roommates, to questioning how Ariel expected to build a life with a guy who literally eats her oceanic friends, no nostalgic film is safe. Eli unpacks the bizarre trend of men falling in love with unconscious women (looking at you, Sleeping Beauty), and why forced romances in movies like Mulan teach us that we are only as good as our relationship status. You’ll laugh, you’ll feel called out, and you’ll leave with a reality check on why unlearning this "relationship porn" is the first step to building real emotional intelligence.
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May 1, 2026
May 1, 2026
46 min
We all know the post-breakup urge to grab mimosas, turn up, and numb the pain. But in this episode, Eli and guest Colleen Freeland break down exactly why drinking through your heartbreak practically guarantees you’ll repeat the exact same toxic patterns in your next relationship. Using her own story of navigating divorce and high-functioning alcohol dependency, Colleen explains how outsourcing your sense of safety to a bottle (or a rebound) keeps you stuck in an abusive relationship with yourself. Eli and Colleen dive deep into why we are so terrified of our own feelings, how to sit with the discomfort of a breakup, and why treating the symptom will never cure the root wound of low self-worth. You’ll leave understanding that your biggest fear isn't actually being alone—it's failing to live up to your full potential.
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Apr 24, 2026
Apr 24, 2026
17 min
Eli is dropping the ultimate truth bomb for anyone stuck in a frustrating relationship trying to "fix" their partner: you cannot change a man. In this quick, hard-hitting solo episode, Eli breaks down why dating for potential—when it's entirely one-sided—is just delusion in disguise. He shares his own journey of doing the inner work, revealing that he didn't heal his avoidant tendencies to save a relationship, but because he wanted to reach his own potential. But if you’re already in deep and want things to improve, Eli explains how to actually inspire growth. You’ll learn why you have to become the mirror for the communication you want, how your anxious attachment might be overloading him, and the psychological hack of using positive reinforcement instead of criticism to make a man actually want to step up.
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Apr 17, 2026
Apr 17, 2026
22 min
In this solo episode, Eli is hitting you with the ultimate post-breakup reality check: when are you actually ready to start dating again? He breaks down the crucial difference between just "healing while single" and giving your nervous system the required time to fall in love with your own life. If you are downloading dating apps out of FOMO, anxiety, or the fear of being left behind, this episode is your intervention.
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Mar 21, 2026
Mar 21, 2026
48 min
It’s time for the quarterly Q&A! In this episode, Eli opens the mailbag to answer the wild, messy, and deeply relatable questions submitted by the Selfhype community. He breaks down exactly why men use "gray language" to keep you in a situationship, the real reason an avoidant jumps right into a new relationship (and why it’s not a reflection of your worth), and why your ex blocking you everywhere is actually a sign of his own fragile ego and hurt feelings. Eli hands you the exact "fun, flirty filter" script to text a guy who is dragging his feet on a second date, and explains why agreeing to be a side piece makes you a "public park" instead of a protected prize. You’ll learn how to stop defining your self-worth by another woman, why you need to switch gyms immediately if your ex is there, and how to stop asking "did I do something wrong?" when an avoidant runs away from repair.
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Mar 13, 2026
Mar 13, 2026
31 min
Eli uses the latest season of Love is Blind as a masterclass in modern dating psychology and attachment styles. He breaks down the painful phenomenon of men on “autopilot”—guys who stick around and coast through a relationship simply because they don't want to be the bad guy, leaving you anxious and begging for their attention. From analyzing why some women double down when a man pulls away, to unpacking why a stable, consistent partner often feels "boring" to a dysregulated nervous system, this episode is a reality check. Eli also dives into the importance of holding your ground on non-negotiables (like having kids) instead of settling just to keep the relationship alive. Whether you watch the show or not, this is your guide to spotting red flags, understanding male behavior, and choosing secure attachment over toxic cycles.
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Mar 6, 2026
Mar 6, 2026
51 min
Is your attachment style standing in your way? Our guest this week, published author, licensed therapist and attachment coach Jessica Da Silva breaks down the science of why we love the way we do. We’re talking childhood wounds, fear of failure, and how to tell if you’re actually ready for intimacy or just performing. Stop running from the "scary monster" of vulnerability and learn the tools to sit, regulate, and repair. You aren't stuck with the hand you were dealt—it’s time to rewire your nervous system for the love you deserve. We unpack attachment and so much more!
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Feb 27, 2026
Feb 27, 2026
27 min
If you’ve ever said “He’s avoidant, but our connection is different,” this episode is your intervention. Eli walks you through the real post-breakup cycle of an avoidant man—from love bombing and intensity, to shutdown and defensiveness, to the late-night “Hey stranger” text that has you questioning everything. Using his own past as an avoidant, he explains why him watching your stories, texting you, or wanting to “try again” is usually about his fear, ego, and loneliness—not some epic, healed version of him suddenly waking up. Then he hands the mic back to you: What did this relationship expose about your attachment style, your boundaries, your inner child, and your fear of being alone? You’ll leave with a checklist of what actually needs to change for a reunion to be healthy (on both sides), how to create a “third option” that isn’t just yes or no, and how to turn this breakup from a waiting room into your personal bootcamp for building a secure relationship with yourself.
Learn More about Sahara Rose
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Feb 21, 2026
Feb 21, 2026
57 min
Tiffany Yu didn't just survive a car accident at nine that killed her father and left her with a paralyzed arm—she built one of the most impactful disability advocacy platforms in the world. In this raw conversation, she takes us through the process of not only loving herself but turning it into action and advocacy. Tiffany shares how she went from a nine-year-old to the founder of Diversability, a global movement born from her own exclusion. She explains why disability needs to be more than just known but integrated in society as whole. Her book the Anti-Ableist Manifesto, explains just that. If you’ve ever felt like you had to "fix" yourself to be worthy of taking up space, this episode is your permission slip to take even more space, unapologetically.
Learn More about Sahara Rose
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